RoxyS8

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Offline (the 07/06/2014 at 6:09am)

RoxyS8

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 August 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1163
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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RoxyS8's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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RoxyS8's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

by Marie / 10/17/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

by fet / 08/23/2012 at 10:30am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML

by mississippi123 / 08/06/2012 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my boyfriend staring at my sister through the doorway while we were having sex. FML

by 420SUX / 08/04/2012 at 2:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

by rawr_fml001 / 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous