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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37614) - you deserved it (4150) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37704) - you deserved it (21348)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27678) - you deserved it (3161)
On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8656) - you deserved it (42167)
On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25257) - you deserved it (7600)
On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22571) - you deserved it (1505)
On 12/13/2012 at 3:39am - misc - by ShadowReiku (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (2040)
On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22406) - you deserved it (4520)
On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (2068)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20874) - you deserved it (5954)
On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33655) - you deserved it (1455)
On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15429) - you deserved it (2992)
On 10/17/2012 at 1:16am - love - by Marie (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22038) - you deserved it (2843)
On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17500) - you deserved it (3153)
On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29499) - you deserved it (7950) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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