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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me looool Little Dick. FML
looool I went wit ma family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned ouse !! We noticed te people ad left a lot of stuff biend so we loaded up te car wit books, records, etc !! As we were leaving, we saw te familyo lived tere drive up !! I robbed a ouse wit ma grandma !! FML
Taday mah five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Beho you want to be B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turnd to me and said "Mom I want to be a hooker." FML
Today, it's mah brthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The frst one was mah fiancé, saying he wantd his ring back. The second one was mah best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with mah fiancé fir the past three months. The thrd was the dentist's office singing me a happy brthday. FML
TODAY, I FOUND OUT TAT I'M PREGNANT. MY USBAND AN I AVE BEEN TRYING TO AVE A BABBY 4 A WILE, AN I WAS VERY EXCITED TO TELL IM TE NEWS. WEN I OPENED IS OFFICE PLANNING TO SURPRISE IM WIT TE NEWS, I SAW IM MAKING OUT WIT A MAN. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound looool of my dad knocking on my dorm room door fir a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks fir last night", and leaves. FML
Today my son said "Mommy sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replid "Well honey that's normal an okay." I then askd when it happens to which he said "Well sometimes when watching Scooby Doo an Shaggy comes out dressd in lady clothes." mega FML
TODAY, I TAXTD MY COLLAGA BOYFRIAND TO TALL HIM HOW TARRIBLA I FALT ABOUT CHAATING. HA RAPLID SAYING HA WAS SO RALIAVD BACAUSA HA HAD BAAN CHAATING ON MA WITH A GRL IN HIS DORM. I WAS TALKING ABOUT MY MATH AXAM. FML
Today... my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for anoter guy. Se said se's looking for someoneo can financially provide for er in te future. Te dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical scool. FML
TODAY MY MOTHER HAD TO TAKE A STOOL SAMPLE BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN ILL FOR SEVERAL DAYS. CURIOUS I EVENTUALLY HAD TO ASK "HOW DID U INTERCEPT THE POO BEFORE IT GOT SUBMERGED IN WATER?". SHE YELLED FROM THE OTHER ROOM "YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE PLATE WITH THE RED STRIPE". I WAS EATING OFF OF IT. FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Friday 27 March 2015