Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 09/30/2015 at 3:26am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 November 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3272
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Roskosity : I do theatre. And I'm among the biggest Harry Potter fans out there.

Roskosity's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - yesterday at 6:03am<b>drunkturtle</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 1:51pm<b>cardshark</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 8:51pm<b>riddhi</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 3:20am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 12:19am<b>NyRex</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 9:42pm<b>swaddison</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 8:15pm<b>drcleggles</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 1:33am<b>mjalexsmith</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Stephanoze</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 9:01pm<b>radiocaf</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:51am<b>kershaw19</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 11:33pm<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 11:09pm<b>xninix</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 7:21pm<b>rabbiddog</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:53am<b>VitalDistance</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 8:30pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:53pm<b>amc597</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:22am

Fucked!<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 6:19am<b>xninix</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:22am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:09pm<b>allred1997</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:55am<b>A07</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:39am<b>gopi</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 6:55am<b>JoeOfDoom</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:28am<b>Pinkgal123</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 5:32am<b>upandover</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:23pm<b>TheRugMan</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:12pm<b>FlendtDK</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 1:50am<b>jonloran</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:52pm<b>robbyq</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 6:48pm<b>badkid91</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:59pm<b>BigxXxDeal</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:16am<b>krazayman</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 5:51pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 6:51pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:16pm

Roskosity's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Roskosity's badges

Roskosity's favorite FMLs

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML


I agree, your life sucks (84910) - you deserved it (4471)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45097) - you deserved it (13056)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44322) - you deserved it (4065)

On 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm - health - by danman (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53861) - you deserved it (11485)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML


I agree, your life sucks (50291) - you deserved it (5136)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38277) - you deserved it (5102)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33751) - you deserved it (6231)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46593) - you deserved it (3465)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML


I agree, your life sucks (41969) - you deserved it (9718)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML


I agree, your life sucks (61626) - you deserved it (11874)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30700) - you deserved it (14150)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36470) - you deserved it (3991)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24205) - you deserved it (2066)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (4429)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28988) - you deserved it (13152)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: