Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Roskosity

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

Roskosity

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 November 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1659
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Roskosity : I do theatre.

Roskosity's page activity

Visits<b>thedevilspawn</b> - 17 hours ago<b>r70093</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Zz_I_Raditz</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:50pm<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:56pm<b>mahovalia</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:22pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:22pm<b>britrcup</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:37pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:16am<b>LilTiki559</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:06am<b>bkpowell</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 8:17am<b>CUZIMAREBEL2TRUE</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:25am<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:30pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 2:32pm<b>Glassarrows</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 1:43pm<b>edvin</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 1:40pm<b>teresa96706</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:52pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:32pm

Liked!<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 5:59am<b>nolannolan16</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:22am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:21am

Roskosity's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of Roskosity's badges

Roskosity's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (3251)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (3546)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

#21258420
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34173) - you deserved it (2546)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm - work - by nocat6 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44278) - you deserved it (2608)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35633) - you deserved it (10015)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65136) - you deserved it (32592)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42740) - you deserved it (6408)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46974) - you deserved it (11871)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37168) - you deserved it (2848)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30238) - you deserved it (16185)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39950) - you deserved it (11354)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54928) - you deserved it (27602)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48821) - you deserved it (2500)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40366) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

#20856159
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (19121)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: