About RootedPumpkin : About me?!
I'm a little bit shy, but once you get to know me, I'm actually pretty silly.
I'm pretty open minded, regardless of your religion and what not.
I watch Adventure Time. It's great. Wanna know me better? Message me.
About RootedPumpkin : About me?!
RootedPumpkin's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
RootedPumpkin's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
by m / 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
by herpmonster / 06/23/2012 at 12:59pm / Italy / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous
by WTF? / 04/19/2012 at 8:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by phoneless / 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm / Jordan / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by belieber101 / 03/17/2012 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
by JMcKay / 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 6:54am / Sweden / Kids
by skidmark / 12/08/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML
by whyyy / 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous