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RootedPumpkin

Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 4:46am) | Search for a member

RootedPumpkin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 768
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RootedPumpkin : About me?!
I'm a little bit shy, but once you get to know me, I'm actually pretty silly.
I'm pretty open minded, regardless of your religion and what not.
I watch Adventure Time. It's great. Wanna know me better? Message me.

RootedPumpkin's page activity

Visits<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:40am<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:35am<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 4:47am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 7:16pm<b>Daschundman</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 3:45am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 3:01am<b>TaniasaysFMLL</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:39am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 5:33am

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RootedPumpkin's favorite FMLs

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (3506)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

#20399692
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (2000)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by theslutmuncher (man) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

#20195064
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33904) - you deserved it (1849)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML

#20091576
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29152) - you deserved it (2227)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by strawberrywine22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

#20085093
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (1611)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML

#20018594
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25374) - you deserved it (1730)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:20am - love - by millie219 (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32085) - you deserved it (1588)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24809) - you deserved it (2035)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

#19833959
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22968) - you deserved it (1545)

On 06/23/2012 at 12:59pm - misc - by herpmonster (woman) - Italy

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

#19786572
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33327) - you deserved it (3977)

On 06/14/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by anonymous - China (Jiangsu)

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22888) - you deserved it (6010)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, I found myself humming a Skrillex ditty all day. I'm beginning to wonder if I've had some sort of stroke. FML

#19497404
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13487) - you deserved it (5128)

On 04/19/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

#19484468
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19577) - you deserved it (21720)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by phoneless - Jordan



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