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RootedPumpkin

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RootedPumpkin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 839
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RootedPumpkin : About me?!
I'm a little bit shy, but once you get to know me, I'm actually pretty silly.
I'm pretty open minded, regardless of your religion and what not.
I watch Adventure Time. It's great. Wanna know me better? Message me.

RootedPumpkin's page activity

Visits<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:40am<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:35am<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 4:47am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 7:16pm<b>Daschundman</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 3:45am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 3:01am<b>TaniasaysFMLL</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:39am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 5:33am

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RootedPumpkin's favorite FMLs

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44296) - you deserved it (2986)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35876) - you deserved it (6707)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49476) - you deserved it (10673)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53406) - you deserved it (8504)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47321) - you deserved it (7980)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my driving instructor failed me on my test, because I forgot to turn the air conditioning off after parking. FML

#20780305
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60312) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:40pm - misc - by WOW (man) - Kenya

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46079) - you deserved it (4012)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52959) - you deserved it (8714)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47848) - you deserved it (20218)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55019) - you deserved it (64137)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41381) - you deserved it (3052)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80547) - you deserved it (11142)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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