About RootedPumpkin : About me?!
I'm a little bit shy, but once you get to know me, I'm actually pretty silly.
I'm pretty open minded, regardless of your religion and what not.
I watch Adventure Time. It's great. Wanna know me better? Message me.
About RootedPumpkin : About me?!
RootedPumpkin's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
RootedPumpkin's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm / Israel / Kids
Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Kids
by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/20/2013 at 11:27am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Alice99 / 11/12/2013 at 12:39pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 12:12pm / Ireland / Health
by Grandson / 11/07/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML
by thisguy / 10/08/2013 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:28pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by some people... / 09/19/2013 at 1:35am / United States / Work
Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML
by TaraBURGER / 09/17/2013 at 3:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling good about it until I saw the interviewer. It was a guy… Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with… Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to…