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RootbeerKitty

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RootbeerKitty

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  • Number of visits : 344
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RootbeerKitty's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
869 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58155) - you deserved it (617812)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML

#459140
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15249) - you deserved it (89367)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML

#458793
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9863) - you deserved it (89752)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by skywayavenue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75291) - you deserved it (27780)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML

#207731
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69621) - you deserved it (7163)

On 03/04/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by alone_forever (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27345) - you deserved it (94957)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

#110231
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14137) - you deserved it (36627)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:50pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58525) - you deserved it (7765)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19159) - you deserved it (9020)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the cooker and the heater in the flat I've just moved into, my boiler dies. It's mid December, about 1 degree outside. FML

#526
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20134) - you deserved it (1619)

On 12/16/2008 at 2:55am - misc - by Melie-Melo - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28125) - you deserved it (13990)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version



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