Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RootbeerKitty

Search for a member

RootbeerKitty
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 234
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

RootbeerKitty's last visitors

pikachulove14jasmine2301TommiixjadeluvhnsblueKandi_NekoWizardoPhotoSmith

RootbeerKitty's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of RootbeerKitty's badges

RootbeerKitty's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16214) - you deserved it (10688)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9766) - you deserved it (39485)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with U2 tickets. Still no action. FML

#5441103
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11300) - you deserved it (25901)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by loveless (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33941) - you deserved it (3145)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 mins, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said "So do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray everynight that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

#5364824
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32031) - you deserved it (3407)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

#5103491
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73227) - you deserved it (3472)

On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (48877)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

#4472401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45820) - you deserved it (6438)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by maidmyday (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

#4329775
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62849) - you deserved it (11207)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41639) - you deserved it (371)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a little girl standing next to me on the train suddenly hugged me. I thought maybe she was sad or I reminded her of someone, and hugged her back. Then she smiled, squeezed my lovehandles, and said "Honk, honk!" FML

#3030449
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37347) - you deserved it (5988)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:48pm - kids - by squeezable (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113720) - you deserved it (71761)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night. So I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. Thats when he said, "you have lettuce in your teeth." FML

#2428890
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11627) - you deserved it (38847)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

#2241699
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68579) - you deserved it (3723)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML

#1200531
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59157) - you deserved it (21996)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: