About Root123 : Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73095) - you deserved it (24451)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55650) - you deserved it (7457)
On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460116) - you deserved it (571709)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (352271) - you deserved it (66501)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53165) - you deserved it (584652)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (525843) - you deserved it (37856)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response, "...I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10178) - you deserved it (18124)
On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31999) - you deserved it (25981)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)
Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15346) - you deserved it (1216)
On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)
Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14334) - you deserved it (4717)
On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version
Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20586) - you deserved it (2121)
On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version
Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9608) - you deserved it (9648)
On 01/01/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I have my new iPod Touch, and I'm walking down the street. Since it's really cold, I'm wearing gloves. At some point, I want to change the song, and don't want to remove my gloves. I try changing the song with my nose, for about 3 minutes, until I realize I look really stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3384) - you deserved it (21695)
On 01/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23410) - you deserved it (1919)
On 12/29/2008 at 5:56am - kids - by Hellau - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (16195)
On 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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