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RomanCatMama's favorite FMLs
by crushed / 11/30/2010 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by smiles22 / 11/27/2010 at 1:38am / United States / Love
by Tasha84 / 11/20/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 11:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:36am / Reserved / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by nothingdoes / 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by JustCantWin / 10/17/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML
by oumalina / 08/11/2010 at 9:54pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
by notmuchfun / 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by jazthefish / 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…