About Roguedork19 : Just a guy from Fresno, California.
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Roguedork19's favorite FMLs
by swirkishly / 11/24/2011 at 11:06am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML
by Anon / 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm / United States / Love
by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
by toomuch / 11/22/2011 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
by Anothernametaken / 11/18/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Work
by OUCH. / 11/17/2011 at 4:27pm / United States / Health
by Chubby / 11/17/2011 at 11:50am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML
by Noslo / 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
by Dlord357 / 11/07/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Florida) / Work
by maf811 / 11/07/2011 at 7:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML
by roadkill0321 / 11/07/2011 at 2:20am / United States / Love
by Kirby / 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I had 45 minutes spare between appointments to do some work at the office. I needed to print… Today, my boyfriend went to the ER. I ran to catch the nearest city bus. My sandal breaks. I had to… Today, I gave my dad whiplash. He was teaching me how to drive stick, and I let the clutch out too…