About Roguedork19 : Just a guy from Fresno, California.
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Roguedork19's favorite FMLs
by swirkishly / 11/24/2011 at 11:06am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML
by Anon / 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm / United States / Love
by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
by toomuch / 11/22/2011 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
by Anothernametaken / 11/18/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Work
by OUCH. / 11/17/2011 at 4:27pm / United States / Health
by Chubby / 11/17/2011 at 11:50am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML
by Noslo / 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
by Dlord357 / 11/07/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Florida) / Work
by maf811 / 11/07/2011 at 7:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML
by roadkill0321 / 11/07/2011 at 2:20am / United States / Love
by Kirby / 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…