About Roguedork19 : Just a guy from Fresno, California.
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13964) - you deserved it (2259)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22093) - you deserved it (2536)
On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28655) - you deserved it (2352)
On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3500) - you deserved it (34116)
On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50802) - you deserved it (3669)
On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19660) - you deserved it (2173) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/05/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by FauteuilEver Alone (man) - France
Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14037) - you deserved it (29681)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States
Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41995) - you deserved it (1591)
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (2160)
On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is she slept with my fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37913) - you deserved it (1740)
On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18414) - you deserved it (10964)
On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21893) - you deserved it (1289)
On 06/11/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by fordneagles (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23484) - you deserved it (1759)
On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24820) - you deserved it (1895)
On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (4923)
On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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