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RockyLovesARacer's favorite FMLs
by b.fritz / 09/24/2016 at 6:02am / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Gas-pingForAir / 09/19/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML
by nevaagain / 08/19/2016 at 4:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, I went on a date. Met the guy at the restaurant, everything seemed to be going OK, but then he spent the entire dinner talking about Pokemon GO, and wouldn't let me say a word. He suddenly stops talking, gets up, says he, "doesn't feel a connection" and leaves. I had to pay the bill. FML
by ZombiKilla / 08/15/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, as I was crossing a street, a car hit me and broke two of my ribs. The driver was too busy paying attention to his girlfriend who was giving him a blowjob from the passenger seat. I could see the look of ecstasy on his face as he rammed into me and drove off without noticing. FML
by Sean / 08/14/2016 at 12:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, my grandfather gave me a whole box of records to go with my new record player. When I thanked him, he said he'd been needing to get rid of them anyway because classical music makes him horny. I definitely didn't need to know that. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2016 at 11:43am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought I'd spice things up by kissing my husband on the lips and then working my way down. But about halfway, I got some of his chest hairs lodged in my throat and started gagging. To avoid ruining the mood, I kept going, silently gagging, until we finished. I swallowed the hair. FML
by so unsexy / 08/04/2016 at 5:32pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML
by csgocockblock / 07/27/2016 at 1:26pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/19/2016 at 11:01pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by FrozenAnonymus / 07/14/2016 at 2:05pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Animals
Today, I was at work and a guy walked up holding his phone with the camera facing me. He then looks up at me and says, "I'm not taking a picture of you. I'm just trying to catch a Pokemon." And here I was thinking that I looked nice today. FML
by FML / 07/11/2016 at 5:16pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/11/2016 at 3:58am / Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya) / Kids
by polemania / 07/11/2016 at 1:23am / United States / Work
by El Jeffe / 07/05/2016 at 1:54pm / United States (Utah) / Transportation