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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3292) - you deserved it (10682)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20380) - you deserved it (1092)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12985) - you deserved it (962)
On 03/16/2012 at 6:38am - love - by elisabeth_pwnes - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1771) - you deserved it (28864)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2680) - you deserved it (8005)
On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8268) - you deserved it (518)
On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17479) - you deserved it (5430)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7561) - you deserved it (563)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:41pm - work - by corey - United States
Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5062) - you deserved it (33497)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Yo mom - United States (California)
Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8423) - you deserved it (1612)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42292) - you deserved it (2140)
On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20790) - you deserved it (1333)
On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31928) - you deserved it (5128)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13231) - you deserved it (38752)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:16am - love - by random person - United States (Ohio)
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21366) - you deserved it (5264)
On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States
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