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RockingRocker

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RockingRocker
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 January 1999 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 262
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RockingRocker's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (2908)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11116) - you deserved it (52531)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51207) - you deserved it (9253)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

#20171594
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6441) - you deserved it (17395)

On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16841) - you deserved it (3964)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27231) - you deserved it (4240)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

#20124147
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10916) - you deserved it (25405)

On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (1996)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML

#20075041
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13392) - you deserved it (1315)

On 09/16/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by MyEarsHurt - United States (California)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15540) - you deserved it (32901)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20304) - you deserved it (2694)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45092) - you deserved it (3118)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (2318)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

#18266824
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8388) - you deserved it (31090)

On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)



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