Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RoboCunnilingus

Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 1:28am) | Search for a member

RoboCunnilingus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 April 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2094
  • Number of comments : 434
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About RoboCunnilingus : I don't want to open up. If I tell you what's on my coconut, it'll confuse both of us.

RoboCunnilingus's page activity

Visits<b>lovethatstach</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:44pm<b>_ibelieve_</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:42pm<b>FreyMaster24</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:37pm<b>CoolGuy501357</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:02pm<b>JamesShortland</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:09pm<b>shaysilverchase</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:34pm<b>Ytram</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:12am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 4:28pm<b>seth_felts</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:02pm<b>JJ_86</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 7:49pm<b>JAMESA12345</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:26am<b>kikyophoenix</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 2:34pm<b>Earrings100</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:38am<b>impno1</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:25pm<b>RATEthisAPP</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 3:02am<b>iiMichy</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:49am<b>insomniacdreamer</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 8:18pm<b>RandomHavoc1</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:29pm

RoboCunnilingus's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of RoboCunnilingus's badges

RoboCunnilingus's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64854) - you deserved it (6583)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59458) - you deserved it (20968)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML

#20742729
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42800) - you deserved it (4091)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by welp, time to become an assassin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
120 comments

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52971) - you deserved it (8718)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47142) - you deserved it (3765) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

#20716424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36540) - you deserved it (7090)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm - health - by Sean - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66730) - you deserved it (9222)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

#20711068
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55892) - you deserved it (3529)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:14am - money - by ididntevendrinkthatnight - United States (New York)

Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML

#20693929
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57248) - you deserved it (2936)

On 05/29/2013 at 8:39pm - love - by anonymoose - Australia (South Australia)

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46776) - you deserved it (2981)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86514) - you deserved it (5471)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49257) - you deserved it (6438)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: