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RoboCunnilingus

Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 10:05pm) | Search for a member

RoboCunnilingus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 April 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2508
  • Number of comments : 457
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About RoboCunnilingus : I don't want to open up. If I tell you what's on my coconut, it'll confuse both of us.

RoboCunnilingus's page activity

Visits<b>beffnytutt</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:14pm<b>MichaelDeSanta</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:05am<b>Kazze</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:43am<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:56pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 10:34pm<b>feven</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 7:01am<b>ShitHappen</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:52am<b>shinklefly</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:48am<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 3:39am<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:59am<b>slingerslasher</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:39pm<b>TiiBags</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:53pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:54am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:48am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:48am<b>PleasantDino</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 5:43pm<b>vertencar</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 5:08pm<b>kinzopinzi</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 4:13pm

RoboCunnilingus's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of RoboCunnilingus's badges

RoboCunnilingus's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

#20822120
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51415) - you deserved it (14569)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68392) - you deserved it (9015)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51815) - you deserved it (11196)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65002) - you deserved it (6592)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59582) - you deserved it (21014)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML

#20742729
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43786) - you deserved it (4198)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by welp, time to become an assassin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
120 comments

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53108) - you deserved it (8728)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47805) - you deserved it (3814) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

#20716424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36620) - you deserved it (7104)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm - health - by Sean - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66882) - you deserved it (9234)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)



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