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Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8872) - you deserved it (29632)
On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I checked over my notes from yesterday's midterm review so I could study for the test on Monday. It seems I was so exhausted, I'd done nothing but scribble unintelligibly all over the first page. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10954) - you deserved it (1976)
On 02/18/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20704) - you deserved it (2691)
On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22798) - you deserved it (3399)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20323) - you deserved it (6142)
On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16274) - you deserved it (2470)
Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24510) - you deserved it (2771)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14738) - you deserved it (26106)
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9914) - you deserved it (1531)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27424) - you deserved it (6876)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:11am - intimacy - by ikungfuyou (man) - United States
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10039) - you deserved it (1791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20772) - you deserved it (2445)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of
Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22786) - you deserved it (4664)
On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4423) - you deserved it (8718)
On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30062) - you deserved it (5613)
On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)
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