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RiverD23

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RiverD23
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 692
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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RiverD23's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45077) - you deserved it (3117)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24042) - you deserved it (7451)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

#18254256
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22461) - you deserved it (13981)

On 11/15/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by yuck - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (5845)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML

#18145802
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (4826)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48am - misc - by Tyler Smith - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28505) - you deserved it (2934)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30734) - you deserved it (3046)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
572 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (218348)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

#17649576
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34187) - you deserved it (3254)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

#17499822
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31073) - you deserved it (6407)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

#17499822
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31073) - you deserved it (6407)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9243) - you deserved it (69953)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46562) - you deserved it (2413)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33180) - you deserved it (8187)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML

#17104871
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19363) - you deserved it (7854)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by Boo (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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