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RivalSeal

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RivalSeal
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  • Number of visits : 374
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RivalSeal's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78636) - you deserved it (4547)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44203) - you deserved it (2711)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

#20939700
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (4792)

On 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by Rinelric1998 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43920) - you deserved it (3003)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63458) - you deserved it (2634)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

#20924969
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43091) - you deserved it (2330)

On 10/18/2013 at 8:40am - work - by Quasimodo (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40107) - you deserved it (3457)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

#20905615
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46208) - you deserved it (8113)

On 10/03/2013 at 2:23am - money - by joecool3426 (man) - United States

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

#20897003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38736) - you deserved it (4957)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by my gran is a cuntwaffle (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

#20894676
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37658) - you deserved it (2706)

On 09/24/2013 at 6:00pm - work - by I need a new job - United States (California)

Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

#20892597
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38500) - you deserved it (4256)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:27am - work - by peejay6831 (woman) - United States

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (2596)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57653) - you deserved it (4792)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59990) - you deserved it (2632)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)



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