RitzBitzFei

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RitzBitzFei

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4044
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RitzBitzFei's page activity

Visits<b>ninjanick1911</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 10:35pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:38pm

RitzBitzFei's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

RitzBitzFei's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

by Cyberella / 07/17/2009 at 1:36am / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

by failure / 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

by MadMax / 07/16/2009 at 10:59am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me because "god told him to." What god didn't tell him was that I would check his e-mail and find all the e-mails to and from his new girlfriend. FML

by hrtbrkn / 07/16/2009 at 9:44am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I finished my project two weeks early. Now I am being laid off because there is no work to do. FML

by bowhuntpa / 07/16/2009 at 8:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

by notawizard / 07/16/2009 at 6:16am / Spain (Catalonia) / Kids

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

by newsgirl / 07/16/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my road test. I'd never had driver's training and my mom taught me how to drive. I failed the test so badly, and when I got home my mom admitted to having taught me how to drive completely wrong because she didn't want me to get my license as she thinks I'm too young. I'm 18. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML

by wtf / 07/15/2009 at 1:04am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

by homedoggieo / 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML

by captainfail / 07/14/2009 at 11:27am / Germany (Bremen) / Work

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

by pkstarstorm / 07/14/2009 at 2:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous