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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46102) - you deserved it (2299)
On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32853) - you deserved it (3439)
On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41982) - you deserved it (1870)
On 07/29/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by screwed (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31387) - you deserved it (2986)
On 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm - misc - by arsenic660 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64655) - you deserved it (2520)
On 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm - love - by imscrewed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54214) - you deserved it (5890)
On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13230) - you deserved it (35860)
On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the grocery store. My checker was very hot. When it came time for me to pay, I swiped my debit card and the machine kept rejecting it. Sure that I had money in my account, I did it again, before the cute checker informed me that I was swiping my driver's license, not my debit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7573) - you deserved it (34764)
On 07/28/2009 at 6:55pm - misc - by flustered - United States (California)
Today, I was supposed to hear back from a major scholarship competition. After months of waiting, during which my parents were convinced I had won, I discovered that my entry had never been received. Apparently the woman I had confirmed with had had a long day, and lied so that she could go home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50044) - you deserved it (1711)
On 07/28/2009 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25679) - you deserved it (18630)
On 07/28/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by porkfriedlife - United States
Today, everyone at work commented on how much better my new haircut looked and how I should keep styling it this way as it's such an improvement over my old style. I was late for work this morning. My new hair style was Bed hair that I didn't have time to sort out... FML
I agree, your life sucks (27689) - you deserved it (5817)
On 07/28/2009 at 3:41pm - work - by Tooks (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had two minutes to get to the bus stop which usually takes me eight minutes. I had to catch that bus to be at work at the hospital in time. I was in such a hurry, I didn't have the time to tie my shoe laces. I ran with untied shoe laces. I did end up in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27965) - you deserved it (10008)
On 07/28/2009 at 2:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Finnmark)
Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46423) - you deserved it (2460)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Limburg)
Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8726) - you deserved it (56043)
On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States
Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11139) - you deserved it (30648)
On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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