RitzBitzFei

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RitzBitzFei

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4567
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RitzBitzFei's page activity

Visits<b>ninjanick1911</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 10:35pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:38pm

RitzBitzFei's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

RitzBitzFei's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

by Mac / 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm / Kids

Today, I got written up for not making a drink right. While getting yelled at by my boss, my co-worker made the drink the same exact way I made it. I pointed it out. My boss responded with, "He is allowed to because I like him, I don't like you." FML

by Nakdnathan / 09/16/2009 at 12:19pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

by sunburychick / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 4:06pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML

by nosexlife / 09/12/2009 at 11:31am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I tried to help a large, elderly nun who had slipped. She was stuck and wedged in on a concrete ramp. So I stood facing her, feet braced against hers, and pulled. Not only did I drop her, but I got a wicked view of her panties and crotch. I'm sure I'm going to hell. FML

by KarmaGirl / 09/11/2009 at 6:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

by nick2.0 / 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

by Missy / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

by GoodDog / 09/09/2009 at 9:21am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

by Waheyyy / 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I got annoyed with my mum stopping in her tracks each time she needed to reply to a text message. I tried to show her that you can walk and text at the same time. I ended up falling into a drain. FML

by misstree / 09/07/2009 at 4:23am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

by Ballshurt / 09/07/2009 at 12:57am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML

by me / 09/06/2009 at 5:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love