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RitzBitzFei

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RitzBitzFei

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  • Number of visits : 2198
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>ninjanick1911</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 10:35pm

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RitzBitzFei's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
485 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9041) - you deserved it (103559)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got written up for not making a drink right. While getting yelled at by my boss, my co-worker made the drink the same exact way I made it. I pointed it out. My boss responded with, "He is allowed to because I like him, I don't like you." FML

#5291155
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47710) - you deserved it (3428)

On 09/16/2009 at 12:19pm - work - by Nakdnathan (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

#5224177
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41364) - you deserved it (23250)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - love - by sunburychick (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML

#5209452
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5967) - you deserved it (48398)

On 09/12/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML

#5208232
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37961) - you deserved it (8058)

On 09/12/2009 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML

#5205091
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (4308)

On 09/12/2009 at 11:31am - kids - by nosexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I tried to help a large, elderly nun who had slipped. She was stuck and wedged in on a concrete ramp. So I stood facing her, feet braced against hers, and pulled. Not only did I drop her, but I got a wicked view of her panties and crotch. I'm sure I'm going to hell. FML

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54551) - you deserved it (4968)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37031) - you deserved it (4040)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

#5146144
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10150) - you deserved it (46015)

On 09/09/2009 at 9:21am - animals - by GoodDog (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49933) - you deserved it (7231)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got annoyed with my mum stopping in her tracks each time she needed to reply to a text message. I tried to show her that you can walk and text at the same time. I ended up falling into a drain. FML

#5100044
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8436) - you deserved it (48664)

On 09/07/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by misstree (woman) - Singapore

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

#5096341
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47503) - you deserved it (6386)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML

#5086042
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42634) - you deserved it (3787)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:33pm - love - by me (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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