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Ritualized

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

Ritualized

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 805
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Ritualized : I'm 17 years old and my passion is guitar playing and singing :)

Ritualized's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Ritualized's badges

Ritualized's favorite FMLs

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (32581)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

#6352873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13455) - you deserved it (65096)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by omgitserika - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19054) - you deserved it (32884)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML

#6166874
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37276) - you deserved it (4874)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:20pm - love - by z (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

#6002369
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20696) - you deserved it (4270)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML

#5513744
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29353) - you deserved it (19269)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by thanksbro (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

#5330246
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37145) - you deserved it (3883)

On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

#5330246
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37145) - you deserved it (3883)

On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (183573) - you deserved it (19020)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71843) - you deserved it (2992)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

#4829994
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65411) - you deserved it (4528)

On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML

#4760219
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30935) - you deserved it (12086)

On 08/23/2009 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I invited everyone to a gig I'm playing at a bar. They closed it down just for me when I told them how many people were attending, and I spent all day setting it up. Turns out nobody showed up besides my mom, my dad, and 2 of my cousins. I still had to play 7 songs in front of them. FML

#4546975
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43141) - you deserved it (6203)

On 08/15/2009 at 11:02am - misc - by playinmyguitar (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I competed in a ballet competition and made the finals, while I was on stage awaiting the results, I sneezed really loudly and snot went flying all over the stage. When I went to accept my award the woman presenting it refused to shake my hand. FML

#4389792
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33376) - you deserved it (7933)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

#4344107
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40240) - you deserved it (6890)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)



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