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Ritualized

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Ritualized
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 248
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Ritualized : I'm 17 years old and my passion is guitar playing and singing :)

Ritualized's FML badges

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Ritualized's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthly conversation, my girlfriend mentions "And he always farts during sex." FML

#15895306
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35306) - you deserved it (9507)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Sadman (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

#15805096
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36554) - you deserved it (10349) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Proprepourtant - France

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

#15500028
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (2967)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm - animals - by cathouse (woman) - United Kingdom (North Down)

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23406) - you deserved it (8183)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32466) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18723) - you deserved it (30465)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the midwest blizzard hit my town, burying the roads in snow. All the local stores are closed. I'm not only currently on my period, but I'm out of pads and toilet paper. FML

#14827819
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39807) - you deserved it (9231)

On 02/03/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23964) - you deserved it (3592) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13474) - you deserved it (25234)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13474) - you deserved it (25234)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20879) - you deserved it (7433)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

#13184282
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21242) - you deserved it (11910)

On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48152) - you deserved it (7499)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

#12894128
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34422) - you deserved it (5059)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm - health - by lalalasmiles06 -

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21513) - you deserved it (9352)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)



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