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Ritualized

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Ritualized

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 525
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Ritualized : I'm 17 years old and my passion is guitar playing and singing :)

Ritualized's FML badges

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Ritualized's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

#19799691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23150) - you deserved it (10600)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37269) - you deserved it (4007)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12135) - you deserved it (25791)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27045) - you deserved it (2838)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML

#19590770
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21123) - you deserved it (5547)

On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26421) - you deserved it (1958)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML

#18894486
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22982) - you deserved it (2327)

On 01/23/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Suzie Leone (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31842) - you deserved it (4981)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML

#18504719
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25024) - you deserved it (3122)

On 12/13/2011 at 5:43pm - work - by thathottchickk - United States (Washington)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48645) - you deserved it (7735)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38979) - you deserved it (3859)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

#17877731
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27360) - you deserved it (2601)

On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

#17730120
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23714) - you deserved it (4071)

On 09/12/2011 at 7:03pm - animals - by GnarCarBar - United States

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34797) - you deserved it (3376)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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