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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
2day I was casually looking troug girlfriend's pone wile se got ready, toug se made me promise not to. To confusion, I discoverd tat se ad me listd as 'Saturday' in er contacts. Tere was also a Tursday, Friday and Sunday listd. I only ever see er on Saturdays. real FML
TODAY, MAH GRLFRIEND AND I WERE MAKING FUN OF A PHOTO ALBUM ON FACEBOOK CONTAINING PICTURES OF TWO FRIENDS WHO JUST GOT ENGAGD. I JOKINGLY ASKD HER TO MARRY ME. SHE SAID YES. WE HAVE BEEN DATING FIR TWO MONTHS. SHE'S NOT IN ON THE JOKE. REAL FML
Today , I rang grlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumpd via facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML
today as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say ( Hey gorgeous, where are u off to? ) I turned around with a smile an said ( About to hit up happy hour. ) He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML
Today, te guy I lyk recommended I buy tis computer game. Wanting to impres im, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now te proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and e can't stop lauging. FML
Today, I cummed home to find mah drunken father sitting on our front lawn!! He had a blanket, lit candle, an was singing with his eyes closed!! He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel!! Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, an yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw looool the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML
Today, I was on the phone with mah boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call yur other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to fine out lyk this." FML
Taday a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it... the grasshopper jumped onto my chest an into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out... my boyfriend leaned back an said... "It got to second base faster than I did." FML
Friday 27 March 2015