Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Riikai : When life throws shit at you, make shit pies and throw them back.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I bought my boyfriend two concert tickets (of our favorite band) for his birthday. I was expecting him to bring me since I gave them to him and I like the band too. He said, "Sweet, thanks, I'll call my friend now and see if he wants to go. Think you could give us a ride?" FML
Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML
Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said "No, seriously." FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for the chicken I bought four days ago. I finally found it - not in the refrigerator, not in the freezer, but in the trunk of my car, which now smells like a dead animal. FML
Friday 30 January 2015