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Riikai

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Riikai
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3176
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Riikai : When life throws shit at you, make shit pies and throw them back.

Riikai's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Riikai's favorite FMLs

Today, I held my cousin's new baby, whom I have nicknamed Canteloupe Head. He then reenacted the Exorcist by projectile vomiting all over my lap and shirt. His mom is a firm believer in karma. FML

#13433594
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7254) - you deserved it (28598)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

#13433237
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17819) - you deserved it (8616)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:28am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML

#13432971
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39688) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brunei Darussalam

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19244) - you deserved it (4257)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5224) - you deserved it (26093)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML

#13431152
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8055) - you deserved it (30372)

On 10/13/2010 at 5:02am - love - by your mother (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

#13430333
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28857) - you deserved it (2368)

On 10/13/2010 at 2:18am - love - by failure (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to get a trim. However, follow-up damage control at home afterward shouldn't really be necessary on a fifty dollar haircut. FML

#13429842
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15699) - you deserved it (4617)

On 10/13/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by grow_fasterrr - (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

#13430217
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (3160)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5265) - you deserved it (57056)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

#13424544
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12707) - you deserved it (30660)

On 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fainted because of a condition I have. My husband, who was standing right there, failed to catch me because he didn't want to drop his yogurt. FML

#13422951
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you deserved it (2841)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:52pm - health - by anon - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our 1 year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML

#13420604
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29645) - you deserved it (5664)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by lovelesslonely (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

#13419509
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6443) - you deserved it (37345)

On 10/12/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in a field 3 miles from where I'd passed out drunk. This wouldn't have been too bad if I didn't have to walk home through town without my pants. FML

#13417824
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7583) - you deserved it (33643)

On 10/12/2010 at 6:59am - misc - by kronin - United States



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