Riften_Guard

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Offline (the 04/14/2015 at 2:39am)

Riften_Guard

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 882
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Riften_Guard : I am here to laugh at your failures

Riften_Guard's page activity

Visits<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:53pm<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:49am<b>CosmicElk</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 6:58am<b>chickenlips23</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:13am<b>wolffy45</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:39pm<b>fenixfim</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:32pm<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:23pm<b>noelsom7</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:43pm<b>mill2775</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:37pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:13pm<b>PhantomFollower</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:26pm<b>ThunderKunt</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 10:34pm<b>MinerZ</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 4:03pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:39am<b>last_kings84</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:49am<b>JetSnipe42</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:38am<b>hondaguyy</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:23pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:36pm

Fucked!<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:20am

Riften_Guard's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

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Riften_Guard's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

by soontobewidow / 03/28/2015 at 5:20am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

by Orgasmataz / 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

by Orgasmataz / 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML

by insomniacap / 12/30/2014 at 6:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, while working in a restaurant, a woman told me I was completely incompetent, was the worst hostess she'd ever seen, and that she would call my district manager non-stop until I was fired. I'd clocked in less than 10 minutes before and hadn't said a single word to her. FML

by christinamarie17 / 12/04/2014 at 1:57am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

by nikaea / 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

by Blaisey / 04/21/2014 at 1:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

by shorty / 04/21/2014 at 12:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

by not_this_shit_again / 04/09/2014 at 8:37am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2014 at 7:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 1:14am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

by fuck my goddamn life / 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous