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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Rickymonkeypants

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Rickymonkeypants
  • Town/Country : Houston, Texas
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 July 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1030
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Rickymonkeypants : Meh...Fuck It

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Rickymonkeypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (26952) - you deserved it (15290)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955 (402)

I agree, your life sucks (54841) - you deserved it (5561)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

#11980877 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (5458)

On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. While I was waiting for him to get ready, I saw a little purple change purse on his dresser. I picked it up, shook it and heard what I assumed was change clanging around in there, so I opened it and out of it poured about ten human teeth into my hand. FML

#9173675 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (10196) - you deserved it (18825)

On 03/17/2010 at 10:58pm - misc - by Rachael (woman) - United States (Idaho)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

#9157665 (365)

I agree, your life sucks (55927) - you deserved it (4159)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by david (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255 (502)

I agree, your life sucks (47608) - you deserved it (9593)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (36234) - you deserved it (2885)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

#9094642 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (17889) - you deserved it (2923)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

#9031003 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (11952) - you deserved it (2577)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:23pm - work - by ams (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

#8911500 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (18715) - you deserved it (2526)

On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)

Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML

#8909849 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you deserved it (1959)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:14am - love - by smashleighfig - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went out to eat with a group of couples and my boyfriend. All my friends boyfriends paid for them. Mine didn't, and said that I should order off the diet menu. FML

#8821558 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (20321) - you deserved it (3446)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51am - love - by Sam - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (3573) - you deserved it (13335)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20184) - you deserved it (2519)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (16098) - you deserved it (3625)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)