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Ricardo100o's favorite FMLs
by happy birthday to me / 12/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML
by Ashamed_Sister / 11/30/2013 at 2:35am / Namibia (Windhoek) / Love
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
by kiwibox / 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Animals
Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML
by zackeryburch / 08/03/2013 at 9:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
by twinArmageddon2 / 04/15/2013 at 2:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Kotoko / 04/06/2013 at 12:59am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Heavy D / 09/06/2012 at 9:45am / United States / Work
by Just_Me_88 / 08/18/2012 at 1:09am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by Stevie / 08/16/2011 at 2:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Fuckit / 05/28/2011 at 1:51am / United States (Idaho) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…
- Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and… Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my… Today, I propositioned my boyfriend of two years to have sex with me in the shower to spice up our…