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RetroXI

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RetroXI
  • Town/Country : El Ay, you ess Ay
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 March 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 761
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RetroXI : ...idk? you tell me....

RetroXI's last visitors

Setareh23BabyDaceyCloudEnvynavybabebridgetsugarbabyxoxoRedPillSucks

RetroXI's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of RetroXI's badges

RetroXI's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9668) - you deserved it (19661)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

#20164153
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8220) - you deserved it (39579)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (30330)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17163) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29547) - you deserved it (5826)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

#18980998
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27786) - you deserved it (7118)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

#18966482
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27504) - you deserved it (5030)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (22097)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42081) - you deserved it (36796)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML

#17473520
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22871) - you deserved it (6883)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36656) - you deserved it (5847)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17691) - you deserved it (48498)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14481) - you deserved it (38244) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28328) - you deserved it (18981) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



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