About RetroXI : ...idk? you tell me....
RetroXI's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
RetroXI's favorite FMLs
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
by stainseverywhere / 02/01/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by joeshmoe / 01/15/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
by hatemylife / 07/19/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Kids
by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Intimacy
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy