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RenoTheRhino

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

RenoTheRhino

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 September 1934 (80 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1363
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About RenoTheRhino : Salutations, I'm Reno. (That's not my name.) Yes, I really am 80 years old. (No I'm not.) I pride myself in being part of renowned international botany clubs, as well as knitting, sewing, crocheting, and quilting legions. I participate in underwater basket weaving, lacrosse, cricket, conk smashing, sheep counting, dodgeball, crochet, camel racing, curling, frisbee, stair climbing, hackie-sack, and in my spare time, chasing a wheel of cheese down a giant hill.

What rock group has 4 members that don't sing?


Mount Rushmore.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?


Because the "p" is silent! As well as the fact that they're all dead. The only thing coming from their bodies now are fossil fuels.

RenoTheRhino's page activity

Visits<b>BounceOverHeight</b> - yesterday at 10:40pm<b>kaed</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:26pm<b>JavitheWrestler</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:19am<b>droid1126</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:21pm<b>elsie23</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:08pm<b>tgodluke</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 7:19pm<b>TahoeFMler</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:45am<b>Mishkaaxx</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:43pm<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:33pm<b>Edumcg</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:36am<b>ihpp</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:29pm<b>EMOHATE</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:39pm<b>taterrtots</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:34pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:53pm<b>Smooth_Criminal</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:28pm<b>wizardcorn04</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:54pm<b>ordon</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:38pm

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:31pm<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:44am<b>WarPanda</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 4:49am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:30am<b>jesuis_julie</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 3:33am<b>netflixislove</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 7:11am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:49pm

RenoTheRhino's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of RenoTheRhino's badges

RenoTheRhino's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39699) - you deserved it (25468)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56101) - you deserved it (5437)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47270) - you deserved it (17021)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43116) - you deserved it (4313)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43463) - you deserved it (6067)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44610) - you deserved it (6446)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

#21097211
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35388) - you deserved it (3212)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - animals - by alicia75 - United States (Indiana)

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45069) - you deserved it (6452)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML



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