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RenoTheRhino

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RenoTheRhino

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 September 1934 (80 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 810
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About RenoTheRhino : Hey, I'm Reno. (That's not my name.) Yes, I really am 80 years old. (No I'm not.) I pride myself in being part of renowned international botany clubs, as well as knitting, sewing, and quilting legions. I participate in underwater basket weaving, lacrosse, cricket, conk smashing, sheep counting, dodgeball, camel racing, curling, frisbee, stair climbing, hackie-sack, and in my spare time, chasing a wheel of cheese down a giant hill.
What rock group has 4 members that don't sing?


Mount Rushmore.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?


Because the "p" is silent! As well as the fact that they're all dead. The only thing coming from their bodies now are fossil fuels.

RenoTheRhino's page activity

Visits<b>hox83</b> - yesterday at 7:28pm<b>knaveofsass</b> - yesterday at 12:57pm<b>xwingtwo</b> - yesterday at 12:35pm<b>jadeleepenguin</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:44am<b>netflixislove</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 1:11am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:43pm<b>zoratheexplora</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:42pm<b>lauren12983</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 9:55pm<b>Wiringify</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 7:31pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:15pm<b>orbit</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:46am<b>tabitha_25</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:45pm<b>what12345</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 2:00pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 12:15am<b>RAH94</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 5:15pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 2:42pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:06pm<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 5:34am

Liked!<b>netflixislove</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 7:11am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:49pm

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RenoTheRhino's favorite FMLs

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

#21329473
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29048) - you deserved it (8584)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34466) - you deserved it (3733)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

#21319715
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (4612)

On 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by peteto818 (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

#21253019
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44066) - you deserved it (3319)

On 09/06/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by StillPissedOffAtIrony (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37567) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34255) - you deserved it (4531)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45333) - you deserved it (5923)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44705) - you deserved it (16554)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40256) - you deserved it (3244)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43314) - you deserved it (27634)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it's been 10 days since my family and I have been visiting France. I've always wanted to try their culinary specialties but my dad says we "can't trust them". We've eaten at McDonald's 9/10 times. FML

#21235566
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44027) - you deserved it (3697)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:23am - health - by theshire - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

#21233010
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37361) - you deserved it (2575)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by I already have one, thanks (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I tried out a website where you upload pictures of two people, and it shows you what their future children might look like. She actually started crying because the kid we were shown wasn't cute enough for her liking. FML

#21232887
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36499) - you deserved it (4059)

On 08/08/2014 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I asked my mom about signing up for an online dating site. She took one look at me and said, "Why get rejected online when you can just go outside for the same?" FML

#21229228
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37605) - you deserved it (3815)

On 08/04/2014 at 11:08am - misc - by baebookboo - United States (Kansas)



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