Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RenoTheRhino

Offline (the 01/19/2016 at 4:39pm) | Search for a member

RenoTheRhino

15Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 September 1934 (81 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1944
  • Number of comments : 216
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About RenoTheRhino : Salutations, I'm Reno. (That's not my name.) Yes, I really am 81 years old. (No I'm not.) I pride myself in being part of renowned international botany clubs, as well as knitting, sewing, crocheting, and quilting legions. I participate in underwater basket weaving, lacrosse, cricket, conk smashing, sheep counting, dodgeball, crochet, camel racing, curling, frisbee, stair climbing, hackie-sack, and in my spare time, chasing a wheel of cheese down a giant hill.

What rock group has 4 members that don't sing?


Mount Rushmore.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?


Because the "p" is silent! As well as the fact that they're all dead. The only thing coming from their bodies now are fossil fuels.

RenoTheRhino's page activity

Visits<b>pear_flavored</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 8:25pm<b>demix</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:22pm<b>JerryClark</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 3:10pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 7:51pm<b>_toraaay</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 9:03pm<b>BigL99</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 3:49am<b>DMA0712</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 6:42pm<b>dmcd_39</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 10:23am<b>jforren</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 3:18pm<b>Liu1992</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 1:31pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:59am<b>43bubba34</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 12:13pm<b>ArcheryArtist</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 8:11am<b>Boxer3421</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:23am<b>xdafuze</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:23am<b>TPH1979</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:17am<b>alsi21x</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 11:44pm<b>IsThisTakenToo</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:39pm

Fucked!<b>pear_flavored</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:25am<b>dmcd_39</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 4:23pm<b>ArcheryArtist</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:12pm<b>IsThisTakenToo</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:39am<b>erptwerp</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:28am<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 8:03am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:55am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:31pm<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:44am<b>WarPanda</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 4:49am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:30am<b>jesuis_julie</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 3:33am<b>netflixislove</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 7:11am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:49pm

RenoTheRhino's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of RenoTheRhino's badges

RenoTheRhino's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

#21466231
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (2497)

On 09/08/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by supersplatoon - United States (California)

Today, I had an extreme panic attack in the middle of class. I interrupted another person's presentation, burst into tears, and ran out of class whilst everyone looked at me. FML

#21464524
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23251) - you deserved it (3259)

On 09/04/2015 at 2:08pm - health - by siddance - United States (California)

Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML

Today, I got a notice from the housing association, if I don't water my lawn I will be charged a $150 fine. Yet if I do water my lawn the city with charge me a $150 fine because of the drought. FML

#21463419
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25662) - you deserved it (1533)

On 09/01/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by really? - United States

Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML

#21460295
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18857) - you deserved it (7200)

On 08/24/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Animeislyfe - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

Today, I got stuck in the elevator at work. When I was finally let out, my boss decided I shouldn't get a lunch break, because I'd already had over an hour off work while in the elevator. I had to starve through 5 more hours of work. FML

#21460168
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25140) - you deserved it (1619)

On 08/24/2015 at 5:28pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Liguria)

Today, my vehicle's transmission shifter moves freely without shifting gears. I'm stuck in park, in a parking lot, unable to even put it into neutral to push the vehicle out of the way of several parked cars. The old lady screaming at me just outside my door doesn't understand logic either. FML

Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying: "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML

#21454260
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25108) - you deserved it (2078)

On 08/10/2015 at 11:35am - love - by butchapparently (woman) -

Today, at work, the girl I've been into for the past 6 months confessed that she liked me, but also confessed she had sex with our boss. Our boss happens to be my dad. FML

#21452615
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (1718)

On 08/06/2015 at 4:33am - work - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (5791)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML

#21358017
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29093) - you deserved it (4375)

On 02/17/2015 at 1:23pm - misc - by trolls have hit the gutters (woman) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML

#21353566
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39339) - you deserved it (2664)

On 02/10/2015 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: