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Renee1992

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Renee1992
  • Town/Country : keota, united states
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 June 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 664
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Renee1992's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37319) - you deserved it (9473)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

#14091459
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36571) - you deserved it (3966)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

#14080015
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (5931)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56334) - you deserved it (8347)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35925) - you deserved it (7753)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

#13363773
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22337) - you deserved it (4875)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

#13350448
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31264) - you deserved it (2495)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:21am - animals - by lindsey789 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (3223)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

#13124550
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30531) - you deserved it (2815)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

#13120508
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20045) - you deserved it (2182)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

#13107358
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28303) - you deserved it (1685)

On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

#13083342
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19211) - you deserved it (6246)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28090) - you deserved it (2860)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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