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Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10843) - you totally deserved it (30120)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you totally deserved it (33624)
On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46724) - you totally deserved it (3157)
On 06/10/2009 at 10:49am - kids - by Lisaa918 - United States (Indiana)
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77305) - you totally deserved it (3821)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39914) - you totally deserved it (40450)
On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52744) - you totally deserved it (5156)
On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (216152) - you totally deserved it (238598)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
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