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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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RemembertheTime

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RemembertheTime
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  • Number of visits : 350
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RemembertheTime's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

#4254409 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (57740) - you deserved it (3661)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

#4238671 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (42594) - you deserved it (1435)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by amburrr (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040 (472)

I agree, your life sucks (9046) - you deserved it (80962)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML

#4228843 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (1912)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by kashish0711 (man) - India (Chandigarh)

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

#4219573 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (50436) - you deserved it (10399)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to change things up by having sex on her trampoline in her backyard. After about an hour of some of the best sex I've ever had, my girlfriend turns to me and says "I hope my dad didn't see us." He was out there mowing the lawn. FML

#4216257 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (13516) - you deserved it (45027)

On 08/01/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by jumper243 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

#4215163 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (48737) - you deserved it (2428)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Dad sent me an e-mail wishing me a "Happy 21st Birthday, sweetheart!" The message went on and on about how much he loves and misses me and wishes we were closer, and can't believe how fast I'm growing up. I'm 23 and my birthday is in December. FML

#4203551 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (39607) - you deserved it (1586)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (47897) - you deserved it (6375)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

#4179768 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (40157) - you deserved it (1404)

On 07/31/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by roofer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML

#4177051 (282)

I agree, your life sucks (68782) - you deserved it (1972)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by Betrayed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#4155124 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (17495) - you deserved it (39963)

On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

#4151663 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (9925) - you deserved it (33726)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by solomantis (man) - Norway (Oslo) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

#4137553 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (41984) - you deserved it (14899)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML

#4133060 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (42819) - you deserved it (1457)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)