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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Reita

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Reita
  • Town/Country : Omaha, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 January 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 545
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Reita : myspace.com/autophobics

Reita's last visitors

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Reita's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Reita's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

#2984635 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (65714) - you deserved it (1866)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States

Today, I sent a random forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML

#2373728 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (7296) - you deserved it (40387)

On 05/28/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by crazybiotch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

#2372867 (351)

I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (41147)

On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846 (336)

I agree, your life sucks (49262) - you deserved it (5363)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the Verizon because my phone was broken. It hadn't rang in 3 weeks. I hadn't gotten any text messages either. So, I got to the store they check out my phone. They told me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with my phone. No one had called me in 3 weeks. Then they charged me $30. FML

#2337784 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (48952) - you deserved it (24174)

On 05/27/2009 at 9:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

#2328337 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (5078) - you deserved it (56327)

On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML

#2311636 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (75740)

On 05/26/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by Wick (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

#2271321 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (65690) - you deserved it (3065)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML

#2189119 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (16701) - you deserved it (48634)

On 05/22/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)