Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Redoxx

Offline (the 12/04/2014 at 2:33am) | Search for a member

Redoxx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5816
  • Number of comments : 546
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Redoxx : FYL....FYL indeed.

I mean the Lannisters killed me and my entire family but you don't hear me complaining. I take life as it comes. You think your life sucks? Let's see you spend a day in Westeros and see how life can really blow. In the words of Old Nan "what do you know of fear?".

Oh and uh...Winter is coming. Damn if I care though. Not like it snows in hell. Which reminds me, if you wanna feel sorry for someone feel sorry for Jon Snow, now that guy's got it rough. Plus my father is his father so you know that's not gonna end well. Welp that's my rant. And in case anybody's wondering, I'm rooting for Arya cause let's be real, Sansa's not the brightest candle on the chandelier. (Former) King of the North signing out.

Redoxx's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:02pm<b>kianad97</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 11:25am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 5:31am<b>mahovalia</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:23pm<b>paolino</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:23pm<b>OhNoAGhost</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:05pm<b>lola4455</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:26pm<b>Sara95</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 8:02am<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:26pm<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:16pm<b>devilsADD</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 9:07pm<b>vikingchick</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:58am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:31pm<b>11bGrunT</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 11:53pm<b>mrjohn8242</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:20pm<b>kudwafuuu</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:30am<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 9:43pm

Redoxx's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Redoxx's badges

Redoxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41586) - you deserved it (4530)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50739) - you deserved it (5476)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41468) - you deserved it (12510)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43283) - you deserved it (14894)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47217) - you deserved it (6961)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

#21031274
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43835) - you deserved it (5123)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56697) - you deserved it (5697)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

#21022033
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (35144)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML

#21020071
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (4500)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:41am - love - by fat - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42522) - you deserved it (6200)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45973) - you deserved it (3633)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: