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RedX1000FML

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RedX1000FML
  • Town/Country : Chicago, IL, 'Murica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 September 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 138
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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RedX1000FML's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (5679)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47079) - you deserved it (2365)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

#20737057
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37757) - you deserved it (2452)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by whoriblemomindeed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

#7398429
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16212) - you deserved it (5441)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML

#6066504
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28004) - you deserved it (6724)

On 10/30/2009 at 2:02am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

#5522380
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7648) - you deserved it (25531)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Oops54321 (man) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47461) - you deserved it (13021)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

#2934855
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36137) - you deserved it (4161)

On 06/16/2009 at 5:13am - love - by flowerfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML

#6093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56537) - you deserved it (4548)

On 02/03/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SoClose (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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