Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 03/25/2015 at 5:28am) | Search for a member
About RedPillSucks : I'm an easy going dude, though people think I'm serious. I don't follow stereotypes. I'm quiet and shy, but I've got my opinions. Ask if you want to know them.
Don't judge me by looks alone.
I like science fiction and anime. I'm a Christian, but no religion owns my mind. I'm a free thinker. I love guitar music, although I haven't picked up a guitar in years
I love Star Trek and Lord of the Rings
My favorite books are
Anything by Octavia Butler
Most of C. J. Cherryh books
David Brinn - Startide Rising
Depak Chopra - The Third Jesus
God help me, I like Harry Potter and Lord Of the Rings
I've not read or seen any of the Twilight stuff
I like my women the way I like my coffee....
Bitter and cold.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
Thursday 19 March 2015