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RedNinjaTurtle

Offline (the 05/31/2014 at 7:47pm) | Search for a member

RedNinjaTurtle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 130
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About RedNinjaTurtle : Heeey(: My name is Abby... music, snapchat, and Netflix is lifee! My favorite shows on Netflix are Pretty Little Liars and Supernatural. Feel free to message me(:

RedNinjaTurtle's page activity

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RedNinjaTurtle's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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RedNinjaTurtle's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43811) - you deserved it (11251)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49280) - you deserved it (3339)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53262) - you deserved it (4381)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39969) - you deserved it (5776)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41374) - you deserved it (13496)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39837) - you deserved it (6089)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

#21205230
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30360) - you deserved it (11768)

On 07/10/2014 at 5:28pm - misc - by cassieono - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

#21187434
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43798) - you deserved it (3987)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:10am - work - by Sam - United States (California)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52351) - you deserved it (4574)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45434) - you deserved it (5439)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to stand in line for twenty minutes at the bank, in between two of my ex-boyfriends. FML

#21168070
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47277) - you deserved it (10162)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42150) - you deserved it (6152)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe



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