Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About RedNinjaTurtle : My name is Abby. My age isn't on there because people think I look older than I actually am so it's funny to see what they guess. Go ahead and guess.
-the walking dead
I spend waaay too much time on these apps.
If we have any of these in common, message me. I'm friendly(:
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML
Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML
Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Friday 12 December 2014