Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RedLust

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

RedLust

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 630
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

RedLust's page activity

Visits<b>sohuja</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 3:35am<b>IceMan0699</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:16pm<b>odell687</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:30pm<b>badmoments</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:20pm<b>Allusivness</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 9:50am<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 8:33pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:38pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:51pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:37am<b>Lilly2shoes</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:52pm<b>starcaller17</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:00pm<b>TRaww21</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:22pm<b>jojimugo</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 7:35pm<b>k_smitty</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 4:22pm<b>aquaticmammal624</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 6:20pm<b>badlucksabrina</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 3:26am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 3:26am<b>klovemachine</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 12:11am

RedLust's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of RedLust's badges

RedLust's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14739) - you deserved it (2567)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35162) - you deserved it (5736)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32728) - you deserved it (3364)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34005) - you deserved it (3686)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38019) - you deserved it (4555)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35675) - you deserved it (4869)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML

#21275167
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35473) - you deserved it (2826)

On 10/10/2014 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by housewiththinwalls - Sweden

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

#21272255
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34769) - you deserved it (3638)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33564) - you deserved it (2908)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38168) - you deserved it (3335)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34178) - you deserved it (4519)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37312) - you deserved it (5006)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: