About RedButterfly5 : I love anime and manga. I'm sarcastic but most people take me seriously so if it sounds mean or the opposite of what would be expected now you know why. The reason I keep coming back to FML is because it's funny, most are funny, some are just plain mean and it makes me disgusted with humanity. I'm almost always on my iPhone so don't expect an immediate response from me if you message me.
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RedButterfly5's favorite FMLs
Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML
by AnonymousUser / 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
by john / 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
by Eragons_Mommy92 / 05/04/2012 at 10:38am / United States / Money
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
by CharlieOrion / 05/04/2012 at 8:25am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Health
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Queen_Dread / 05/04/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Washington) / Love
by anonymous4991 / 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy
by screwedupkid / 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/03/2012 at 7:37am / Australia / Kids
Today, it was the concert of my life. I had bought tickets the minute they went on sale, and I'd anxiously waited until the concert date. 30 minutes before the show, my friend got so drunk that we weren't allowed in, and I was stuck babysitting her all night in the hotel, completely missing the show. FML
by savanna / 05/03/2012 at 12:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…