About RedButterfly5 : I love anime and manga. I'm sarcastic but most people take me seriously so if it sounds mean or the opposite of what would be expected now you know why. The reason I keep coming back to FML is because it's funny, most are funny, some are just plain mean and it makes me disgusted with humanity. I'm almost always on my iPhone so don't expect an immediate response from me if you message me.
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RedButterfly5's favorite FMLs
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
by anamota89 / 05/11/2012 at 5:33am / United States / Love
by Lizofsmeg / 05/11/2012 at 1:03am / United States / Love
by Brown345 / 05/11/2012 at 1:03am / United States / Work
Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Money
Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML
by brannonjames / 05/10/2012 at 6:20pm / United States / Love
by Jesse / 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Amy / 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by tinydancer / 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML
by PollingLow / 05/10/2012 at 11:45am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by JG / 05/10/2012 at 7:48am / United States (Florida) / Love
by reddd / 05/10/2012 at 2:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 2:25am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML
by I Don't Exorcise / 05/09/2012 at 11:34pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much… Today, I slept with my deputy manager. He slept with my insane jealous housemate months ago. I need… Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him…
- Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a… Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my…