Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RedButterfly5

Search for a member

RedButterfly5
  • Town/Country : Florida, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1911
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RedButterfly5 : I love anime and manga. I'm sarcastic but most people take me seriously so if it sounds mean or the opposite of what would be expected now you know why. The reason I keep coming back to FML is because it's funny, most are funny, some are just plain mean and it makes me disgusted with humanity. I'm almost always on my iPhone so don't expect an immediate response from me if you message me.

RedButterfly5's last visitors

TheImaginarySongshibeepjaffviszeropointninejerzjaythenamesbrooksyWizardoCaptainFoxbuttsemper_amoVampireBiterCaptMurdock

RedButterfly5's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of RedButterfly5's badges

RedButterfly5's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19417) - you deserved it (2673)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10684) - you deserved it (18490)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

#19606582
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20001) - you deserved it (2735)

On 05/11/2012 at 9:24am - misc - by MobPerfect (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

#19606582
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20001) - you deserved it (2735)

On 05/11/2012 at 9:24am - misc - by MobPerfect (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

#19606194
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4799) - you deserved it (18701)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:33am - misc - by anamota89 (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

#19605689
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16334) - you deserved it (2539)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United States

Today, I started a new job. I noticed all the beautiful women. Then I tripped on a cord running across the floor. They noticed me too. FML

#19605681
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12202) - you deserved it (3583)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - work - by Brown345 (man) - United States

Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML

#19604267
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (1698)

On 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML

#19603666
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15854) - you deserved it (1263)

On 05/10/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by brannonjames - United States

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18545) - you deserved it (1832)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML

#19603153
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25073) - you deserved it (7540)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55164) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#19602885
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16293) - you deserved it (4073)

On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

#19602686
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14297) - you deserved it (3334)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML

#19602303
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (1745)

On 05/10/2012 at 11:45am - misc - by PollingLow (man) - United States (Georgia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: