Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RedButterfly5

Search for a member

RedButterfly5
  • Town/Country : Florida, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1941
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RedButterfly5 : I love anime and manga. I'm sarcastic but most people take me seriously so if it sounds mean or the opposite of what would be expected now you know why. The reason I keep coming back to FML is because it's funny, most are funny, some are just plain mean and it makes me disgusted with humanity. I'm almost always on my iPhone so don't expect an immediate response from me if you message me.

RedButterfly5's last visitors

TheImaginarySongshibeepjaffviszeropointninejerzjaythenamesbrooksyWizardoCaptainFoxbuttsemper_amoVampireBiterCaptMurdock

RedButterfly5's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of RedButterfly5's badges

RedButterfly5's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML

#19620507
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you deserved it (3459)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by sneezeattack (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

#19620502
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16476) - you deserved it (1821)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

#19619815
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (2405)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML

#19618681
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23892) - you deserved it (4728)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML

#19618008
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22163) - you deserved it (1623)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML

#19617909
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21526) - you deserved it (1853)

On 05/13/2012 at 5:26pm - love - by soso (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

#19617279
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19184) - you deserved it (2767)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:54pm - kids - by just me (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

#19615713
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (2504)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

#19615153
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15217) - you deserved it (2183)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:28am - health - by whatevershit - United States (Alabama)

Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML

#19615151
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6771) - you deserved it (37044)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:26am - work - by fired - United States (Oregon)

Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML

#19615076
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (3631)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by deewe (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

#19614809
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (2002)

On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

#19613905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18063) - you deserved it (3297)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

#19613672
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (2558)

On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: