About RedButterfly5 : I love anime and manga. I'm sarcastic but most people take me seriously so if it sounds mean or the opposite of what would be expected now you know why. The reason I keep coming back to FML is because it's funny, most are funny, some are just plain mean and it makes me disgusted with humanity. I'm almost always on my iPhone so don't expect an immediate response from me if you message me.
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RedButterfly5's favorite FMLs
Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
by FML / 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm / Finland / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML
by LearnToLive / 05/15/2012 at 11:59am / Holidays
Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML
by observant / 05/15/2012 at 10:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/15/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/15/2012 at 6:49am / Egypt / Miscellaneous
by uni life / 05/15/2012 at 4:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML
by Anonymous / 05/15/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML
by foreverbrown / 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML
by singleagain / 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm / United States / Love
Today, after applying for a promotion to a position which I've been working my ass off for two years to get, my managers thought it would be appropriate to discuss other applicants in front of me, even asking me to compare my resume with theirs to see the "caliber" of what I'm up against. FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 6:39am / Australia / Work
by anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 6:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML
by AmatureLitCritic / 05/14/2012 at 3:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by sneezeattack / 05/14/2012 at 1:27am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm / United States / Health
- Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work,… Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than… Today, I discovered that my wife isn't cheating on me after all, as I'd feared. We just don't have…